ive been looking forward to meetg u after work, so happy cause u wun often like so sweet =) been waitg for my shift to end.. went to buy buns for you, wanted to surprise u or give u a little token to show my appreciation but somehow i just feel that wad i did was simply silly. met up w u at orchard and went to clear my locker at hyatt den we headed to eat, somehow ive this weird weird feeling again that whenever i tried to be near u or even hold ur hand, u ll shrug off or simply hve a little distance, how sad i thought but im still glad to just be by ur side, i told myself. On the way to senja was a long ride, thanks for ur company. i was so tired maybe its becos these few days had been gg for meetgs, but ive nv regret gg for them as i found them meaningful & enrichg, wanted to be like those normal gals, on e train who can lean by their loved ones side, on their shoulders or even hug you but u always seemed to reject me or cannot be bother abt me, im really sad again but i told myself maybe u just find me a burden or simply dun like to be near me, but im still glad that u made the effort to sit w me all the way to my religion meetg. After my meetg, on our way back, u seemed to be tired, caught u dozing off on the train and coughing a few times, wanted to ask u if u wan to lean by my side or even ask u are u alright, but i know u ll definitely answer me in a cold tone and reject my offer, so wads the pt of asking and making myself a fool once again. Wanted to send you to the bus-stop and walk back home alone becos i knew u were tired and also another reason and tat is to be alone, because i knew i cannot simply let my tears flow down once again in front of you to make you worry or making myself so weak in front of u once again, but u insisted to sendg me back so i had to control my emotions till i reached home.. Wellx, life is simply so funny rite? a moment, im so looking forward and so happy to do something, yet another im sad and confused.. i really dun understand you and i know u wun open up and tell mi anything, and now i also dunoo wad to say but i just feel that ive already put in effort to change, at least frm the previous one i knew what are my shortcomings esp knowing hw to appreciate and showing some understanding the other party, yet wad i get in return is cold response.. remb the time when i told u that im afraid to get into another relationship becos of the fear that i might get hurt once again? remb wad u hve said and promised? maybe u ve forgotten alr..
Steffi:)